Saturday, January 13, 2007
When Things Get Hairy
Ok Guys! This one might be a little to graphic for some people to read so readers beware!!!! On December 30 my good buddy Stephanie and I were going to get a pedicure. Now, I am 23 and this is going to be my first pedicure and it is my X-mas gift from Stephanie. I am totally excited about it and I know I am going to love it. I had a busy day that Saturday, my 1 year old nephew was in the hospital with RSV and I had kept is 2 year old brother the night before and cleaned up my sister-in-law's house so she wouldn't have to come home to a mess when the baby gets well, so I didn't make it to bed until about 4 am because I was doing laundry and stuff. Well, I get up the next morning and get the 2 year old ready and take him to the hospital to see his mom and dad. I get home and Stephanie is waiting on me so I am unloading the few groceries I have real quick and getting the house ready to go and we are going to be in a rush because we have karaoke that night and we want to shop for some clothes before we come home!!! Well, here is where things get hairy!!! Now, anyone who really knows me they know that during the winter time especially that I do not SHAVE MY LEGS that often. Well, in this instance I hadn't shaved in probably a week or more!!! HAHAHAHAHA... so I tell my good friend Stephanie that I am going to shave a my legs a little real quick. Now, I wasn't jumping in the shower I was doing a quick dry shave, which every female knows is the worst feeling in the world because of razor burn. Well, I shave up to the very bottom of my calf on both legs, thinking that will do because I am getting a PEDICURE, little did I know that the people actually massage your calves. Well, we get there and get our pedicure started and I have my pant legs pulled up just enough where my hairy legs don't show, but the man doing the pedicure decides to push them up to my knees and I am mortified. Stephanie is laughing because I am looking at her like how embarrassing is this and she is like Oh my gosh Jessi, I can see the hair from here (meaning from her chair which is right next to mine). Well, I am okay while he is doing my pedicure, and he starting to get to the end and out of nowhere he puts this steaming hot towel over my legs, and boy did I almost come out of my chair, because I had dry shaved my legs and that steaming hot towel was not exactly the best feeling in the world, in fact, it felt a little like when someone intentionally slaps your sunburn, but I am still okay especially after is sets in a few seconds. Then he removes the towel and to finish the pedicure he decides to squirt lotion from my knees to my toes. Okay, now I am mortified because he is fixing to rub lotion through my hairy legs and I looked at Stephanie like what in the world is he doing and she is just giggling away, and I look at that man and just ducked my head and said, I'm am SOOOOO sorry. He was just like, It's okay. Good thing they didn't start talking in their language where I couldn't understand them because that would have been bad because I know he would have been like this girl didn't shave her legs this is the nastiest thing ever. Then, as he is painting my toes, he kind of grabs his stomach and looks to be about to vomit. I was like I know it was gross but seriously was it so bad that you had to vomit. But I asked him if he was sick and he said no he was just hungry. Well, what can I say, WHEW, at least it wasn't because of my hairy legs!!!! So we finish our pedicure and leave and I have to thank my good buddy Stephanie who has had many pedicures in the past for not telling me that they massage your calves!!!!!! Thanks Steph!!! Then she is laughing because she thought I was shaving up to my knees not knowing I didn't know what all the pedicure entails. So, as to the title of this one, When things get hairy!!! I have been shaving my legs pretty regularly now because you never know when someone might have to massage your calves or for me with my bad ankles, what would happen if I twisted my ankle and needed to go to the doctor!!! Anyways, hope this doesn't gross anyone out to much!!! Just thought I would share this wonderful experience!!!!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
REDNECK WORDS!!!!!
Okay, so being from small hicktown, you get to decide what way you want to say certain words and everyone goes with it!!! You go to a big city and these words and slang you might use will get snarls and funny faces.. Well last night I was at James and Kim's house with my husband. We made a quick trip down there to return a vehicle to them since they had not been home. Well, my 1 year old nephew comes running through the living room with a bottle of something or other.... Well my husband precedes to take it away from him and reads the bottle and it says 'Buttocks Cream'.... Now, I read this as one word with one syllable as (and bare with me as I change the spelling to reflect how I would say it) Buttucks... now my husband precedes to say this with two syllables like this.....ButTocks.... OOOOOOOOOOOO I died laughing... and them Kim repeats it the same way as my husband.. Now I am really laughing and we are really getting a kick out of this...Anyways.. just a funny story to lighten your day a little... I am sure the correct way to say this is how my husband said it but to put some truth behind the title of this is that we are allowed to make words sound the way we want and I believe that most of my family anyways would have said it how I would have said it... I don't know.. Maybe I am wrong.. It was just funny!!!! Kind of reminded me of Forest Gump and how he would say it...hehehehehehehehehehe...
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
BIG JESS
BIG JESS
Anyone who knows me knows that I USED to play basketball back in high school which was, well, 5 years ago. Okay, since then I have played a couple of times, I think like 2 years ago I went to a scrimmage during X-mas where some of our old team got together and we scrimmaged the HS girls. Okay, so that being said.. A few weeks back I was chatting with some old friends whom happened to play ball with me and we were talking about how we think it would be awesome to scrimmage our HS girls this year so we can kick some HS BUTT!!!! HA HA HA right.. you got it... well this scrimmage was Sunday Dec. 31, and although we had some players there that we have never played with before, I think we that altogether we hung pretty well with the HS girls. We ran the ball well and we shot pretty decent!! I will give it to the HS girls this year though, they remind me a lot of the team Chatty had when I was a senior (well, this is them playing against a bunch of out-of-shape has beens too though)... from what I could see all of them can run the length of the floor and have speed (like the 2002 STATE SEMIFINALISTS TEAM) and they have about 3 to 4 good shooters and a few good ones that can shoot outside as well as play inside, so yea, i will give it to them that they seemed better against us then they do when they play other teams and maybe that is because, like said before , we are all out of shape... But if these girls play the way they did against us that day and run run run like that, they are likely to make it to the state tournament but they need to learn to use that speed like we did!!! Anyways, back to the story, so we play this scrimmage right.... four 15 minute quarters.. .the first 2 quarters we had 3 subs to use, but the last 2 we only had one.... WHEW were we all tired... I did not realize how out of shape I was until that scrimmage... and what is even more sad is that I really thought I would be able to handle it and make it up and down the floor like I used too... WRONG!!!!!!!!! so I go home and literally just fall on the couch and can't move because my strength is gone... I later gain this strength back; however, monday is the day of dread.... I could barely move any part of my body... I was hurting from the top of my head to the very tip of my toes... my back ached, my arms hurt, my shin muscles were killing me.... and it only got worse as the day progressed and Tuesday was worse than MONDAY... it was sooo bad on Tuesday that I had to wear jeans and tennis shoes to work because there was no way possible that I could carry myself around in high heels (plus I was still half sick, which also added to the pain)... anyways.. my word to the wise... YOUR NOT YOUNG ANYMORE... YOU ARE OUT OF SHAPE.... hehehehe.. anyways.. it was really fun and all but I do know that if I plan on doing that again next year that I will have to get myself into shape really fast!!!
Anyone who knows me knows that I USED to play basketball back in high school which was, well, 5 years ago. Okay, since then I have played a couple of times, I think like 2 years ago I went to a scrimmage during X-mas where some of our old team got together and we scrimmaged the HS girls. Okay, so that being said.. A few weeks back I was chatting with some old friends whom happened to play ball with me and we were talking about how we think it would be awesome to scrimmage our HS girls this year so we can kick some HS BUTT!!!! HA HA HA right.. you got it... well this scrimmage was Sunday Dec. 31, and although we had some players there that we have never played with before, I think we that altogether we hung pretty well with the HS girls. We ran the ball well and we shot pretty decent!! I will give it to the HS girls this year though, they remind me a lot of the team Chatty had when I was a senior (well, this is them playing against a bunch of out-of-shape has beens too though)... from what I could see all of them can run the length of the floor and have speed (like the 2002 STATE SEMIFINALISTS TEAM) and they have about 3 to 4 good shooters and a few good ones that can shoot outside as well as play inside, so yea, i will give it to them that they seemed better against us then they do when they play other teams and maybe that is because, like said before , we are all out of shape... But if these girls play the way they did against us that day and run run run like that, they are likely to make it to the state tournament but they need to learn to use that speed like we did!!! Anyways, back to the story, so we play this scrimmage right.... four 15 minute quarters.. .the first 2 quarters we had 3 subs to use, but the last 2 we only had one.... WHEW were we all tired... I did not realize how out of shape I was until that scrimmage... and what is even more sad is that I really thought I would be able to handle it and make it up and down the floor like I used too... WRONG!!!!!!!!! so I go home and literally just fall on the couch and can't move because my strength is gone... I later gain this strength back; however, monday is the day of dread.... I could barely move any part of my body... I was hurting from the top of my head to the very tip of my toes... my back ached, my arms hurt, my shin muscles were killing me.... and it only got worse as the day progressed and Tuesday was worse than MONDAY... it was sooo bad on Tuesday that I had to wear jeans and tennis shoes to work because there was no way possible that I could carry myself around in high heels (plus I was still half sick, which also added to the pain)... anyways.. my word to the wise... YOUR NOT YOUNG ANYMORE... YOU ARE OUT OF SHAPE.... hehehehe.. anyways.. it was really fun and all but I do know that if I plan on doing that again next year that I will have to get myself into shape really fast!!!
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